


Nothing Like Doing Nothing

by Tv_Saved_The_Teenage_Girl



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Couch Cuddles, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, Mentions of Cancer, Season 3, season 4, season 5, this fic contains a retelling of what happened at the end of the pusher
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-16
Updated: 2020-04-29
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:27:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23679862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tv_Saved_The_Teenage_Girl/pseuds/Tv_Saved_The_Teenage_Girl
Summary: After Scully gets taken by Donald Pfaster, Mulder can't sleep and decides to give Scully some company. This leads the two to begin a tradition of spending the night after particularly hard cases. Can Mulder and Scully keep it purely friendly, or will their secret feelings end up getting the better of them?
Relationships: Fox Mulder/Dana Scully
Comments: 18
Kudos: 116





	1. Take pity on me

**Author's Note:**

> I'm only in season four right now, so I know I don't know the characters as deeply as I'd like, but I've been itching to write. So I decided to have a go at this lovely ship. It's just going to be a few chapters of comfort porn for my own entertainment. ( I also don't know how much foot traffic I'm going to get on this one)

The first time Mulder ever visited Scully out of the blue was after she was abducted by Donald Pfaster, that much he could remember. Scully was always so valiant, relatively unswayed by the horrors they saw day-to-day. But this time, during this case, Mulder witnessed a different side to his partner. He saw true fear in her eyes. Mulder tried to let her know it was ok to be thrown off by the nature of their case, but she remained cemented behind the mask she wore.

When Mulder saw Scully’s car driven off the side of the road with her nowhere to be found, he felt his heart drop. Though the desperation he felt to find her, and find her fast, was something he had felt before and would feel again, Mulder would never get used to it.

Mulder was quick to bust through the door of that old house, just in time to see Pfaster straddling Scully on the floor. In seconds the room was filled, guns pointed right at Pfaster, giving Scully the chance to move out of the way. Mulder rushed to her side as soon as he could, lifting her off the ground. Her face was scraped and her wrists were tied, Mulder felt a pang of guilt seeing her so disheveled.

Even then she tried to remain calm, but her breath was shallow and she shook slightly as Mulder freed her wrists. And as she tried to brush off Mulder’s worry by telling him she was _“fine”_ , her voice wavered. It wasn’t until he gently lifted her chin, forcing her to look at him, that she broke, her strong mask shattering to pieces. Tears began to well up in her eyes as she stepped closer to Mulder, burying her face in his chest as she sobbed. His hand rose to stroke the back of her head in a small attempt to soothe her, hugging her tightly.

Seeing Scully so shaken up awoke a feeling deep inside Mulder. That night, back in his own apartment, Mulder found it hard to sleep and he couldn’t imagine his partner was finding an easier time. So without giving it a second thought, he grabbed his keys and started heading over to her place, making a stop on the way.

~

Scully sat on her couch, the drone of her tv lit up her face as she stared unblinking at the images. It was well past midnight, but she couldn’t find it in her to fall asleep. Her mind kept playing back the events that had unfolded not more than 24 hours ago. Scully knew she was paranoid from the trauma she had just experienced, she knew she was safe at home, she knew exactly why she was feeling this way, but she was still rooted to the couch under the false protection of her blanket.

A sudden knock at her door jolted Scully out of her trance, causing her heart to begin to race. Grabbing her gun off her coffee table, she slowly stood and made her way to the door, sighing when she saw who was on the other side.

“Mulder, what are you doing here?” She asked as she opened the door.

“I was having trouble sleeping and I was hoping you’d take pity on me.” Mulder gave her a small smile, holding up a bag. “I brought your favorite kind of ice cream.” Half-heartedly rolling her eyes, Scully stepped aside to let him in before locking her door.

“You can stay for one movie, but then I’m kicking you out.” Though she portrayed a slight annoyance with her partner, a sense of calm finally washed over her. Secretly, Scully was relieved to have the company, not that she’d ever let Mulder know that.

“Yes, Ma’am” Mulder replied, walking into her kitchen. “Where are your bowls?” He asked looking around.

“Don’t bother.” Scully opened the drawer he was standing next to, pulling out two spoons and handing him one, their fingers grazing each others if only for a moment. “What do you want to watch?” She asked, making her way over to the couch and placing her gun back on the table. Shaking off the shiver that ran up his spine, Mulder soon followed suit.

“I’m fine with anything.” He replied, sitting on the opposite side of the couch, placing the lid of the ice cream on top of the bag it was in before taking a spoonful. In a matter of seconds, Scully swooped in, stealing the pint from him. “Hey!” Mulder laughed with a fake look of betrayal.

“You said you brought the ice cream for me,” Scully said with a smile, taking a spoonful of her own as she tossed him the remote for him to channel surf.

“I don’t remember saying that.” He laughed as he tried to find something suitable to watch. Her lighthearted teasing unknowingly giving Mulder some relief.

~

If you asked Mulder what it was they watched that night, he wouldn’t be able to tell you, he spent most of the night stealing glances at Scully. As well as trying to get his fair share of ice cream. He could tell she was tired, but the two of them stayed up well past one movie, seemingly fighting sleep. By the middle of the second movie, the two of them had moved closer to one another on the couch, sharing the blanket Scully had sought safety under only a few hours ago. The ice cream long since finished. But the two of them could only keep their eyes open for so long.

The first thing Mulder could comprehend was the sharp pain in his neck as he tried to figure out where he was. It wasn’t until Scully moved slightly that he realized. Her face was buried in his chest, his arms wrapped around her as the two of them cuddled on the couch. At first, he didn’t know what to do, not wanting to wake Scully or face this awkward situation. So he just closed his eyes and let himself hold her a little longer.

Scully woke up not long after, and Mulder found it almost impossible to fight back a smile as he listened to her realize whose arms she was in. Slowly, she peeled herself away from him before making her way to her room.

Neither of them talked about that night or that morning for that matter. In their minds, it was a one-time thing, an innocent mistake they would never make again. Scully pretended she had gone off to bed after Mulder had dozed off, not wanting to disturb him, and Mulder went along with the lie over a freshly brewed cup of coffee. And when they saw each other at the office the next day, they carried on as usual. Neither one of them ever would have guessed this would end up being a mistake they would make again, and again, and again.


	2. What were the odds?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just finished Small Potatoes, oh my goodness, it was quite the episode. Here is chapter two!

Dana didn’t realize how much Mulder’s presence eased her, especially once she learned she couldn’t trust anyone else like she could trust him. Even just the faint smell of his cologne would instantly remind her to breathe. The first time he showed up at her apartment unannounced, she knew why he was there, she could see it in his eyes. They were filled with concern, something she had a hard time being on the receiving end of, especially when it came from him. He must have been worried about her being able to perform her job adequately. That was the only reason she could give to his attention. In truth, it was the only reason Dana was willing to believe. 

Nevertheless, waking up in his arms, she hadn’t slept that well since she was a child. She had convinced herself he didn’t know about their night on the couch. For if he did, she was sure he would have moved, would have left without a word.

She had grown to learn their lives were never mundane, nor did she suspect they ever would be, and this case was no exception. When they arrived in Dudley, Scully didn’t suspect her last night there would be spent with her head held down, duct tape over her mouth as someone prepared to decapitate her. But there she was, unable to move and unable to call out for help, her fate held in the hands of the universe, giving her only seconds to think of all the things she’d do if only she had the time.

But then shots fired and everyone began to scatter, a moment later she saw Mulder. Quick to drop to his knees, he began freeing her, taking off the tape as carefully as he could. _“Are you alright?”_ He had asked, moving her hair out of her face.

It certainly wasn’t the first time he had to come to her rescue. She was beginning to feel like a damsel in distress, and while she resented that, a part of her was thrilled at the thought of Fox Mulder being her rescuer. And as the years would come to pass, she would soon realize it wasn’t because she needed to be saved by a man, but that it was a mutual assurance that when one of them was in danger, the other would fight like hell to get them back.

~

Fox tossed and turned that night, the persistent thought of what would have happened to Scully if he only got there a moment later, he couldn’t bear to keep his eyes closed for long. His hand reached for his phone only for it to ring the second he touched it.

“Mulder,” He answered.

“Mulder, it’s me.” Her voice graced his ear causing a small smile to tug at the corners of his mouth. What were the odds? “I didn’t wake you, did I?”

“No, not at all.”

“Good,” She paused as if she was considering her words. “I was wondering if you were hungry…” Scully trailed off for a moment, but Mulder spoke before she could continue.

“How does pizza sound?” Mulder stood, already thinking of a place that was on the way.

“It sounds perfect.”

“I’ll be there in twenty.” He said before hanging up, quickly putting on a t-shirt.

The truth was, Mulder was glad she called. After what happened last time, he wasn’t sure she’d want him over again, not like that. Not that this meant anything, it wasn’t an invitation to spend the night, he knew that, but he couldn’t help but hope. Hope to be let into her world once again, to sit on the couch with her, to share a blanket with her, to see her face lit up in the dark by a screen that wasn’t from a computer, to hold her in the small hours of the morning. There was something about being able to see her in that light that made Mulder’s chest tighten with a longing he didn’t have a name for.

Not only did Mulder arrive exactly when he said he would with a box of pizza, but he also had a six-pack in hand. It was a brand he had seen her drink once before and hoped it was one she liked. The smile that spread across her face when she saw him was enough to tell him he’d guessed right.

The two of them didn’t exchange a word as he stepped inside and made his way to the kitchen, turning around once he heard her lock the door.

“You’re just in time,” Scully said, walking towards Mulder only to reach around him and grab a few napkins from the counter. The same electric shock rolled like a wave down his spine as he felt the heat from her body press against him for a moment. But then she was gone. “Pulp Fiction is about to start.” Grabbing a bottle opener and a couple of plates, she began to walk towards her living room, just as she had done before.

~

When Scully called him, she wasn’t expecting him to pick up, nor did she expect him to be at her door with food and beer. She had found herself in the same position as before, motionless on her couch. Her hand had a mind of its own when it reached for the phone, but she was glad she called, glad to hear his voice, to see him at her door.

It didn’t take them long to demolish the pizza, the beer went a little slower though. Scully had to force her eyes to stop following when he lifted his bottle all the way to his mouth. The way his lips wrapped around it, his Adam's apple bobbing as his tongue darted out. She took a swig of her own beer, gluing her eyes to the tv. Despite the warmth of the alcohol, they were both huddled under a blanket, once again. It took everything in her not to let her hand fall to her side, to rest between them and graze whatever part of Mulder she would find. 

If this were anyone else, Scully would feel the need to fill the silence between them, to at least say something about what they were watching, or what they were drinking, or what the hell they were even doing on her couch at 2 am. But it was Mulder. It was Fox. It was different. For reasons she couldn’t quite understand, being here with him while the world slept, not saying a thing, it almost felt domestic.

They both started yawning not long after the movie finished, and while she wouldn’t mind waking up in his arms again, she couldn’t risk it. Scully would tell herself it was because they were coworkers, they had to be professional, but what she couldn’t risk was rejection. Not from Fox.

“I think I’m going to get some sleep,” Scully said, stretching as she stood. “But I can’t let you drive home after you’ve been drinking.” It was a good excuse, it was responsible.

“It was just three beers.” Mulder scoffed in protest but made no move to leave.

“Seriously, Mulder.” She was stern, but her voice still found a way to be soft. “I’ll grab some sheets and a pillow. I have a spare toothbrush you can borrow.” Finally standing, he followed her to the bathroom.

“Thanks,” He said as she handed him his toothbrush. The two of them stood side by side, brushing their teeth wordlessly. Finishing before him, Scully left to grab the blankets and pillow she promised him. Mulder placed his toothbrush next to hers, where it would wait for him.

“Goodnight, Mulder.” She stood next to the couch, seemingly unsure of what to do with her hands as she made her way to her room.

“Goodnight, Scully.” He smiled down at her as they passed one another.

Slipping through her bedroom door, she closed it and placed her forehead against the cold wood. Having him in her dreams was hard enough, how was she supposed to keep her thoughts professional when he was sleeping on her couch only a room away?


	3. Bad dream

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There must be so many mistakes in this cause I'm pretty tired but here ya go. If you can't tell I'm getting a little impatient for the saucy stuff. I don't know if I want to amp it up later and change the rating, I might. I'm at the end of season five now, ugh I love these two

“Scully…” Mulder said surprised, his brow furrowed. “What are you doing here?” She stood at his door, drenched from the storm that was raging on outside. But she couldn’t care less about a little rain. 

“What I should have done a long time ago.” Stepping forward, Dana grabbed the front of Fox’s t-shirt, pulling him down for a searing kiss. One which he eagerly returned. 

“Scully,” Fox moaned, his hands gripping her waist.

Leading him further into the apartment, Dana shut the door with her foot, her mouth never leaving his body as she began to strip away her damp clothes. His legs hit the back of his couch and they stumbled, Dana quickly climbing on top his lap, dragging his shirt over his head. 

“Mulder,” She groaned, her hand brushed through his hair while she began to nip up his neck causing him to gasp. “Mulder,” Dana said again, making her way up to his ear. “Mulder, wake up.” 

“What?” Fox croaked in a daze. 

~

When Scully realized there was a bomb on that train her heart sunk. She had already gone through the process of losing him, seeing the burnt wreckage out in that desert only a few months earlier. Mulder could be so idiotically hardheaded, it drove her crazy, but nothing was worse than the thought of losing him. 

Just like most everything between them, she kept that a secret. She didn’t need to hear his half sarcastic, half flirtatious remarks about her feelings. His occasional provocative statements were already bad enough, him knowing one of her biggest fears was losing him would be too much. But now she was in his apartment, surrounded by him. It was hard to keep a clear head, especially when she could hear him in the next room.

At first, she thought she heard Mulder say her name, her hand was going for the door when Scully heard a moan escape him. Her face grew red with every passing second, tentatively she opened his bedroom door to find him fast asleep. _Of course, he must be having a nightmare._

“Mulder,” Moving to wake him, she took the opportunity to brush her hand through his hair, something she had done in the past. Except this time, he rose to meet her, letting out the smallest gasp as he did so. He was warm under her touch. “Mulder,” She said again, trying to get her mind out of the gutter. But the image of him writhing, his brow furrowed as he moaned slightly was not helping. “Mulder, wake up.” 

“What?” He finally replied groggily as he began blinking. 

“You need to wake up.” Scully restated, drawing her hand away.

~

Mulder shot up, disoriented at first. His eyes scanned the room before landing on Scully standing next to his bed.

“It seemed like you were having a bad dream,” She said sympathetically. _If only she knew._

“Something like that,” Mulder groaned as he tried to sit up. His body was sore, his face covered in scrapes, with a gash over his right eye and a bruise in the shape of a line around his throat where he was strangled. Not to mention the random deep bruises that covered his torso.

Mulder checked out of the hospital less than 24 hours ago and Scully had seemingly taken it upon herself to look after him. How he survived and made it to safety, he didn’t know. Time had become very blurry to him, which only fueled his anger. 

“I got you a few groceries and I’m making dinner.” She began to move towards the door, stopping to look back at him when he spoke. 

“You know, Scully, I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself.” Mulder tried to stand but had to sit for a moment as the room began to spin. 

“I know you are, Mulder.” She shook her head as she headed towards the kitchen. 

~

It took Mulder a while to finally leave his room, not that Scully was complaining. After, whatever that was, she needed a second by herself to cool off. Distracting herself with her cooking, she didn’t even notice him sneak up behind her.

“You’re making soup?” Mulder asked, looking over her shoulder before resting his chin there.

“Yes, I’m making tomato basil and grilled cheese.” She replied, trying to pretend that his touch did nothing to her. “It’s what my mom used to make me when I wasn’t feeling well.” Stirring the pot, she began to move again, causing Mulder to pull away and take a seat at the kitchen table. “Is that alright?”

“It sounds perfect,” Mulder smiled when she turned to look at him. “And it smells even better.” Scully forced her gaze back to the stove as soon as she felt her face flush. She didn’t know what had gotten into her lately but needed to cut it out sooner rather than later. Standing, Mulder began making his way to his small living room.

“I already fed your fish.” She called out, guessing that was the only reason he’d have to move. Grunting slightly, he made his way back to the table. Stopping what she was doing, Scully grabbed a glass of water and one of the pain pills the hospital had sent him home with. “Here,”

“Scully,” Mulder began to protest.

“Mulder, I can hear how much pain you’re in. You look like you’ve had the shit kicked out of you, you were lucky to not have any cracked ribs.” Scully stated, turning back to finish dinner once she saw him take the pill.

~

Mulder soon realized he should really learn to stop arguing with her, she was right, he was beginning to feel a little better. It definitely hurt less when he swallowed. Almost being strangled to death was not something he wished to experience again, but in the long run, he would hate to have choking ruined for him.

He also realized he needed to stop being such a hardass because, just maybe, he could get her to cook for him more often. Maybe it was because he hadn’t really eaten much in a few days, but it was the best meal he’d had in weeks, and it was just soup and grilled cheese. All this was swirling around his mind as they sat in silence.

“Thank you,” Mulder said softly, looking up to meet her confused eyes.

“For what?” She replied earnestly as if she didn’t know how much she’d done for him. As if she didn’t know how much she impacted his life from the second she stepped into his world.

“For taking care of me, and sticking by my side.”

“Are you sure you’re feeling alright,” Standing up, Scully rested her palm on his forehead for a second before she began pulling away, but Mulder caught her hand in his, his thumb grazing her soft skin ever so slightly.

“I mean it.” They held eye contact for a second longer than normal before he let go of her.

“I’m just returning the favor.” She stated as she began clearing the table.

Though Scully protested, Mulder helped clean up the kitchen and the two of them soon found their way to his couch, watching yet another forgettable movie. This time, the reason Mulder couldn’t recall what they watched that night was because he was too busy trying not to think of the “bad dream” he had not three hours ago.

Unlike the other two nights, they sat right next to each other, his arm resting on the couch behind her. It didn’t take long for Scully to fall asleep, however. If Mulder had to guess, she probably hadn’t gotten much sleep due to worrying over him. He felt her begin to slump against him until she was fully leaning into him. He was just about to move when she shifted to rest her head on his lap.

Mulder was frozen for a second, looking down at her peaceful face, afraid to move, worried that this moment would end all too quickly. But his hand couldn’t resist brushing a few strands out of her face, playing with her hair for a second. After a few minutes, Mulder scooped her sleeping body up in his arms. Moving her lay on his bed, he tucked her in, kissing her forehead before leaving the room. He knew in the morning she’d be mad at him for sleeping on the couch in his condition, but he was used to it and a sore neck was worth it if it meant his sheets would smell like her.


	4. Worst fear come true

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd like to say I was aware that Mulder didn't actually use his bedroom, but I knew it was there and this is my made-up universe, and in this one he actually uses it, and that's all I have to say on that. Sorry, it took me a hot minute to post, also there is little to no dialogue in this one which is gross, I know.

When Scully cautiously made her way down that hospital corridor, she had to remind herself to breathe. She didn’t know how her body was able to move without shaking, as she entered the room where Mulder and the Pusher were sitting across from each other. Taking a seat, she joined them at the table. A million thoughts and feelings ran through her in that moment, of course, her main goal was to have as little casualties as possible. But in the back of her mind, a present fear that she had come to know well was screaming.

If you asked her about the conversation she had with Pusher, she would have a hard time recalling every detail, her heart had been racing. Seeing the revolver on the table and Mulder sweating bullets was enough to send her worry into overdrive, her mind had begun working on as many possible ways out of this situation as she could, but there didn’t seem to be much hope.

When Pusher handed Mulder the gun, she tried to reason with him, but he seemed unaffected by her rational words, pulling the trigger only to fire a blank. Pusher had passed, but then it was Mulder’s turn. Her eyes had begun to well up at the thought of losing him, and once again she tried to reason but within seconds it was too late, Mulder drew the gun to his head and pulled the trigger. Firing another blank.

As she stood, she began yelling at Pusher, but suddenly the revolver was pointed at her, Mulder looked her dead in the eyes and all she could do was try to reason with him, to remind him he was “stronger than this”. She had felt a tear run down her cheek as she looked back at him. That was when she had noticed the fire alarm behind her causing her to begin to back away.

It was then that Mulder finally spoke, begging Scully to run. Mulder seemed to shake as if everything in him was trying to point the gun somewhere else, whispering her name again. Just as his finger had begun pressing down, she ran for the fire alarm and pulled the lever, causing whatever control Pusher had over Mulder to stop.

~

The minute Scully pulled that lever, it felt like the anger that had welled up inside Mulder was finally released. Pointing the gun back at Pusher, he pulled the trigger causing the man to fall to the floor. But the satisfaction of one-shot wasn’t enough, and he proceeded to pull it again and again and again, only to fire blank after blank.

When it was said and done, Mulder couldn’t look at Scully, his guilt, and fear of what could have happened if she hadn’t seen that fire alarm was too much to bear. In truth, he would have pulled the trigger on himself tenfold if it meant he’d never have to point a gun at her again. Seeing her eyes filled with so much fear was not something altogether new, but it had never been directed at him before.

But then she was standing next to him, in that hospital room, and the two of them fell back into the conversation as if none of it happened. Like they always do. He was shocked when he felt her hand tentatively reach out for his, her thumb caressing his skin. She held them there for a second before leaving the room altogether. What probably looked like a normal gesture to any passerby, for Mulder was a secret message of forgiveness.

~

_A few months later_

After all the hours, all the nights they spent together, safe in each other's company, seeing Mulder secretly conversing with Cigarette Man was shocking, to say the least. She could literally feel her heart sink as her mind began to whirl. _How could he?_ Scully hardly slept that night.

Taking a deep breath as she got in their car the next morning, she tried looking for signs that what she saw was true. She needed evidence. But she found nothing, and Mulder’s excuse for why the car had moved did little in the way to ease her mind. The further into the case she got, the more suspicious of Mulder she became until eventually, she cracked.

Turning her room inside out for bugs, she was growing frantic by the minute. _How could he do this to her? After all they’d been through, was it all just a lie? Has he been working for the other side all along?_ He told her they couldn’t trust anyone, but she had placed so much trust in him over the past three years. Now that that was ripped from her, she didn’t know what to do, or where to turn. She felt lost and trapped.

~

“Mrs. Scully, hi. It’s Fox Mulder.” Scully had been gone for a few hours now, and with every passing minute, Mulder grew more restless. He hated that he had to call her mother. Once she realized it was him who was calling her so early in the morning, he could hear the panic in her voice.

The thought of Scully running around, alone, and scared with a million officers hunting her down was not an image Mulder liked. And while he was working as fast as he could to come up with the cause to all of this, it still wasn’t fast enough. One call from the Maryland State Police and he felt like he couldn’t breathe.

He managed to get to the station, taking a moment to collect himself before he got out of the car to I.D. Scully’s body. His feet felt like cement with every step he took, every inch of his body pleading for him to turn around, but before he knew it he was standing in front of a screened off a window.

"State highway patrolman found the body off a rural highway at 2:00 P.M. Nude, shot in the forehead.” The coroner informed him, causing Mulder to close his eyes as if doing so would make the mental image go away. Stepping up to the window, he slowly revealed the woman on the other side, looking on for a few seconds before speaking.

“It’s not her.”

~

Scully was embarrassed, to say the least. She didn’t understand what had come over her to make her act so out of hand. For her to believe so strongly that Mulder was plotting against her, that he was behind every terrible thing that had happened to her since they met, it was all too much.

Her mind kept replaying him standing before her, his eyes were filled with so many emotions. But not only did Mulder stick by her side, he told her she was the only one he trusted. The only one. Her worst fear was his betrayal and Mulder just showed her he wasn’t going anywhere, that there was no one he trusted more. Even though she felt ashamed for her actions, Scully was a little relieved to have finally heard him say those words. But when Mulder came to visit her at the hospital to tell her he figured out what had happened, that everyone believed they were experiencing their worst fear come true, she could feel the back of her neck begin to burn. She never meant for him to know.

What Scully failed to realize was how shaken up Mulder had become.

~

The night she was released, Fox showed up at her place, but this time it felt different, this time they didn’t say a word to each other. The moment Dana closed her door, he fell to his knees, his arms wrapped around her waist as he clung onto her. Lifting her hand, she brushed her fingers through Fox’s hair.

He wanted to tell her. To tell her how worried he was. To tell her how scared he was to lose her, and how lost he felt when he thought she had died. He wanted to tell her he’d never been more relieved to see a dead body before, simply because it wasn’t hers. Fox wanted to tell her so many more things, things he didn’t have the right words for, but the only thing that would come out were tears. Silent and steady, the weight of the past few hours came crashing down on him. Dana didn’t question him, didn’t force him to talk.

“Come on,” She finally spoke. Against her better judgment, she lifted him to his feet, taking his hand in hers as she led them to her bedroom. Sitting him down on her bed, she moved to the other side. “Take your shoes off.” Was all she said.

Doing as he was told, he kicked his shoes off before turning to look at her. She had laid down, on top of the covers, and was motioning for him to lay next to her. He kept any snarky remarks he had to himself as he complied, not wanting to upset her or ruin his chance to be near her. As soon as he laid next to her, she moved him to rest his head against her chest as one of her hands returned to stroking his hair. His arms wrapped around her again as he eased into her embrace. She could feel him struggling to catch his breath, shaking erratically as he did so.

“You know, I’m the one who just got released from the hospital.” She laughed lightly. “Shouldn’t I be the one being held,” Dana said teasingly.

“I’m sorry,” Fox uttered, so quietly she almost didn’t hear him.

“For what?” Her hand had moved from his hair down to his back where she halfheartedly began drawing circles with her fingers.

“For everything,” His voice broke as he clung tighter to her.

She stayed there with him until he fell asleep, at least that’s what she told herself she was going to do. Wait for him to drift off, then move. But in the end, she didn’t have the heart to leave him, didn’t have the will to. So they stayed, holding on to one another like life vests, stranded in the world’s cold ocean.


	5. Take more chances

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> episodes mentioned - 4X13, 4X20, and 5X02

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, I finally finished! I'm also now in season 8, very shocked to say the least. If you read this fic I hope you've seen all the way up to the beginning of season 5. I'd say more, I know I wanted to, but tbh I just took two shots, and now all thought has been thrown out the window. I tried, I hope yall like it

Suddenly she realized just how intertwined their lives had come to be, how involved she had become in his life. He was hell-bent on finding the hidden truths in this world, and so was she, but at what cost? Was this really something she wanted to spend the better half of her life doing? What would she have to show for it, in the end? Scully had already spent close to four years on this journey with him and she didn’t even have a desk.

Truthfully, this wasn’t about Mulder, not really. Whether he walked into her life or not, it was ultimately her decisions that landed her where she was. Not to mention her past with authoritative figures. Not that she saw Mulder as anything but her equal, but he did tend to call most of the shots.

When she returned from Philadelphia, scraped up and inked, she just stood in the doorway of their office, unable to find any trace of her existence in a place she spent most of her time. While he was everywhere. Mulder didn’t understand her reckless actions. He berated Scully while simultaneously poking fun at her.

“.... All this, because I’ve ... because I didn’t get you a desk?” He asked, finally drawing her attention. His eyes seemed to be searching hers for an answer, clearly not understanding her actions or what led to them.

“Not everything is about you, Mulder. This is my life.”

~

“Yes, but it’s m—“ Mulder cut himself off, his words dying in his throat. He wasn’t ready to vocalize it, wasn’t ready to show his cards. She had been acting so strange for the past week and he wasn’t sure why. Scully kept telling him it had nothing to do with him, but he couldn’t help but worry.

Had she resented him? Was she not content with their work? Was she regretting this life she chose, maybe wishing for a simpler one? A less dangerous one? _One without him in it?_ He had so many questions, so many fears, and he didn’t know how to tell her. Or where to even begin. So he kept his mouth shut, leaving the room silent.

~

As much as she liked their partnership and their silent understanding of each other, their communication skills were poor, to say the least. And while Scully never claimed to be the best at speaking openly about her feelings, Mulder was somehow worse…or maybe they _were_ equally as bad.

It had been a few months since she went a little rogue. Since she found out she had cancer. Although now Mulder knew. He still joked with her, trying to make light of the situation, but she could see something in his eyes had changed. He was always asking if she was feeling alright, always worried when she got knocked or beaten. More so than usual. She didn’t like how it made her feel.

It had also been a little while since he spent the night. Scully was trying hard to tell herself she didn’t miss his company, in the early hours of the morning. Miss how the world fell away, all the stress and the reality of their daily lives. How it felt like they were just two ordinary people, and he was just a friend she wished was more. That’s why she was so surprised to find him at her door.

“Mulder, what's up?” Nothing had happened, neither of them had been in any life-threatening situations in the past 24 hours, so to find Mulder at her door, smiling down at her, was odd, to say the least.

“Scully? Is this a bad time?” He asked, looking almost dejected as if he had crossed an unknown line.

“No. No uh...come on in.” Stepping aside, Scully let him in before she noticed the bottle of wine in his hand. “Who's that for?” Looking down at the bottle, Mulder paused for a second.

“Uh…us.” He finally replied, causing Scully to look at him for a moment before taking the wine.

“Okay. Have a seat.” Something was different about him. Usually, he would have gone straight to her kitchen, looking for a corkscrew. Usually, he would have never shown up this early. And usually, he didn’t bring wine, especially not red wine. Scully didn’t want to look too far into it, maybe it was nothing. But there he sat, awkwardly shifting on her couch.

Taking a seat next to him, she poured him a glass, handing it to him before pouring her own. “So seriously Mulder, what's going on? You okay?” Scully asked cautiously, causing Mulder to nod his head.

“Mm. I was just kind of knocking around, I was-“ He paused to clink their glasses together. “Just thinking…” He continued, taking a sip of wine before coughing. “Uh, good. We never really...uh...talk much...do we?”

“What do you mean like...really talk? No, no we don't, Mulder.”

“Well, what's stopping us?” He asked earnestly, causing her to look away and take in a breath, only to look back and see Mulder giving her an honest look.

A bottle of wine and sometime later, she found herself telling him an embarrassing story about her adolescent years. But Mulder listened so intently, seemingly enthralled by what she was saying. She was seeing a whole new side of Mulder, open, soft, and almost boyish, she liked it. 

But suddenly he got serious, suddenly he was moving towards her and her eyes widened. A million thoughts were running through her mind at that moment, but she was ultimately worried this was an act of pity. Was he only making a move because of her condition? She was so relieved to have been able to talk to him without him bringing up her cancer, and now this? Before she had time to think things through, he had made his way across the couch to her, his hand propping himself up between her legs. He was incredibly close and inches away from touching her.

Breaking in her door, Mulder appeared, disheveled and out of breath, staring at the two of them on the couch. Looking at him in the doorway, Scully looked back at Mulder on the couch before pulling back, pushing _that_ Mulder way as she stood up. If Scully was confused before, she was completely lost now. Leaning back on the couch, Mulder sighed before turning into Eddie Van Blundht as Scully looked on in disbelief.

~

They never talked about it, Mulder never asked Scully what had gone on between her and Eddie, but the questions still burned in the back of his mind. He wondered if Eddie had something he didn’t, something Mulder couldn’t give her. What could they have possibly talked about, the scene he walked in on was so warm and… _romantic_. The wine, the fire, the two of them so close. How did Eddie get so close to her in that little amount of time? Why did he have the guts to make a move and Mulder didn’t? And why did Scully let him?

These questions just got shoved to the side once Scully’s conditioned worsened. He was so afraid of losing her, for good this time. This wasn’t some monster that had taken her, it wasn’t something he could save her from at the last minute, but that didn’t stop him from looking, from trying everything he could think of.

A part of him wondered if Eddie was right, maybe he should live a little, take more chances. God knows he would have taken a chance on Scully. But that moment had passed, whether he ever had the chance or not, he couldn’t make a move now. He might not always understand what goes on inside her brilliant mind, but he knew if he made a move now she’d only see it as pity.

But Mulder did find a cure, maybe. It was hard to say what actually saved her in the end, but suddenly she was Scully again. _His Scully_. With even more fight in her than before. When Mulder found out her cancer had gone into remission, he couldn’t stop smiling.

It didn’t take them long to get into the swing of things, their lives had a habit of tossing them back into the flames. But it was different, they were different. He couldn’t go back to pretending anymore, to shoving his feelings aside. He had been so afraid of letting her in for fear of losing her, but the truth was, in the end, he’d lose her whether he made his move or not.

~

“Scully,” Mulder had spoken up just as she was about to leave their office for the day, catching her in the doorway. She just hummed in response, turning to look back at him sitting at his desk, fiddling with some papers. “Do you have any plans for dinner tonight?” The words rushed out of him as his eyes looked everywhere but at her.

“Um,” She was caught off guard, but a small smile played at the corners of her mouth. “I’m afraid I don’t…have any plans.” Her gaze narrowed, daring him to look up at her. “Why do you ask, Mulder?”

“Oh, I just have this pasta recipe I’ve been meaning to try…” He trailed off for a second before finally lifting his gaze to meet hers. “But it’s measured out for two.” There was a gleam in his eyes, and he seemed almost bashful.

“Hmm, that sounds like a problem.” She took a few steps back into the office, her voice playful. “It’s a good thing I’m such a helpful person.”

“Do you think you could be helpful around seven?” He asked, smiling back at her.

“For you?” She turned around and began walking out the door. “Anything.”

~

Dinner had come and gone faster then he expected and suddenly they were on his couch, finishing the last drop of wine Dana had brought over. Red wine. He tried not to read too far into it, but he couldn’t help but think of the last time he’d seen her drinking red wine. Was this her way of telling him she wanted a re-do of that night, this time with the real Mulder?

She was sitting so impossibly close, her casual touches weren’t new to him, but he had also never allowed himself to think about it out of the confines of his bedroom. And as the night inched closer to dawn, he felt like he was running out of time to finally do something about it.

“I can’t believe you watch this crap.” She laughed, drawing his attention to her wine-stained lips. “You spend every day chasing aliens, don’t you think of anything else?” Scully turned to look at him, catching his eyes already studying her face, causing her laughter to catch in her throat.

“Yes,” Fox replied, his gaze never faltering.

“L-like what?” She stuttered something he wasn’t used to hearing coming from her. As the two looked at each other, he was suddenly aware of how little of a distance there was between them.

“Does it need saying?” He could see her swallow as her tongue darted out, licking her lips like he’d seen her do so many times before.

“I think you know it does.” Dana’s voice was faint and he could hear her gasp as he leaned in to whisper in her ear.

“You.” He moved to look into her eyes again but was soon pulled back in as her hands rose to grip his shirt, finally closing the distance between their lips.

Fox had never been good with words, but even if he knew every word in the dictionary, he’d still fail to find anything that could describe the way Dana’s lips felt. The way she tasted when she opened her mouth to let him in, her tongue fighting for dominance against his. The kiss was slow at first like they were waiting for the world to open up and swallow them whole, but once they realized the universe didn’t care, a wave of suppressed desire washed over them. 

He started leaning her back, but Dana had other plans as she moved to sit in his lap, causing him to break away from her kiss, gasping. From this angle, he knew she could feel him, his thought being proven by the sudden glint of mischief in her eyes.

“Did I strike a nerve?” She asked innocently, grinding ever so slowly.

“Something like that,” Fox grunted, his hands coming up to hold her hips steady as he looked up at her. “You know…I’ve had dreams like this.” He admitted, immediately worried she’d be offended by his words. But he should have known better.

“Is that so?” Dana giggled, he’d never seen her smile so wide. “And what was I doing in these dreams?” He made no attempt at holding back his own grin.

“I’ll show you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it <3

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!! Kudos and comments are loved and appreciated!
> 
> Follow me on Tumblr @  
> babbling-spooky-agents.tumblr.com  
> Or  
> tv-saved-the-teenage-girl.tumblr.com


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